[She either doesn't pick up on his confusion, or she chooses not to bring attention to it. Ilsa keeps her attention mostly on Valo, though her ears are turned in Eustace's direction, listening to him intently, and there's a very subtle shift in her expression when he repeats her words...
She didn't want to have to explain, but... it makes sense. Given the circumstances surrounding the whole thing, given what happened before and how she felt after, she can't blame him for feeling a little confused, either.]
Mm.
[She nods, and a warm smile passes over her expression, ghosting it before it vanishes, when Valo tries to grab the spoon before going back to licking away the peanut butter as if this were his first meal ever.
But a flush begins to creep up into her cheeks when she recalls the bits that she remembers so clearly.]
You took good care of me while I was... [Clearing her throat.] Down for the count. ... I didn't want us to spend the night alone and I thought that we would take care of each other.
[A small awkward clearing of the throat. He really didn't think she meant anything like... A continuation of that night, but hearing this still somehow tickles him in a way he can't explain or understand. So he just averts his gaze as he tries to find his own words.]
I did... Wonder if I should have stayed to make sure you were all right... But it felt like you wanted me to leave.
[Is that a laugh he gets out of her? It's one that's neither pained nor forced. Still a little awkward, but at least it's more sincere than the last few she's given him.]
You did. I think I went to sleep feeling a little upset that night.
[A little is an understatement. Although she did pass out hard when she finally did, it had taken her a while to really fall asleep. Her mind kept going through the events of the night over and over, all the way up until she watched him leave, and it was the last part of it that had really stung. More than anything else that they had said or done.]
Though, I suppose I misunderstood as well. I went to sleep under the impression that you wanted to leave. Wanted nothing to do with me.
[—That came out quicker than he realized so it takes him a moment before he continues.]
...It's true I did want to leave, but only under the assumption that you were uncomfortable around me. And I was also feeling a bit confused as well, so I needed some time.
But I never thought that I didn't want you.
[...
WAIT.]
—Want anything to do with you, I mean.
[Primals help him he didn't mean to misspeak like that.]
[Ilsa almost drops the spoon out of her hands, much to Valo's dismay, before he corrects himself, and even then... why does she feel that twinge of disappointment in her chest? It's not like she wants anything—at least, she doesn't think so, but she does wonder how much of it really was the drinks, and how much of it was them actually wanting something?
She shakes the feeling off. No sense in letting her mind spiral again now. She's just glad that they at least managed to clear that up without any trouble.
And, trying to lighten the mood a little, she does let herself grin.]
[And just going to stiffen before he KEEPS HIS HEAD TURNED AWAY.]
Ilsa, please.
[...There's a slight flush, though, a flash of heat that he tries to wipe away with his hand as he runs it over his face.
But the question won't leave him. He's neither denying nor confirming, because... He still doesn't know. Still doesn't know what to make of what happened that night. His thoughts, feelings. Even now he's not sure if his views are being colored. Ilsa has always been an objectively pretty, attractive woman. An idiot would be blind to that much. The thing is, he just never thought or felt anything beyond that.
Now, however... Now that he's been made of aware of everything, seen more than he should have...
....]
You?
[In the end, he ends up turning the question back on her...though he's not really hoping or seeking a real answer. It's more to to see if she's also having the same issues.]
[Okay. She does manage to get a pretty good reaction out of him, and she even chuckles quietly to herself about it. It's so rare that she manages to get Eustace a little riled up like that, even if she was... somewhat joking around... and it's all fun and games until...
"You?"
He turns it around on her so effortlessly that she doesn't see it coming at all. Now it's Ilsa's turn to stiffen, the flush in her cheeks only darkening as she tears her eyes away from Eustace to look at Valo, who is now blinking at the two of them, confused, as he licks away the peanut butter on his face.
Ilsa doesn't have an answer for him. Not even a response of any kind right away. She spent so long thinking about that exact question only to come up short, and with more questions for herself than answers.
Though, maybe...
...
Maybe it's time to work through them with the only other person in this or any world that can help find those answers, and perhaps knows what she's feeling.]
I can't say I know how much to blame the drinks versus what I was thinking myself.
[There's a soft exhale as he's finally recomposed himself and he leans against the door frame.]
Same here.
[...And he's still uncomfortable about it, for many reasons.]
It's obvious we can't take all of what happened to seriously since we don't know what was genuine and what was under the influence. We could stay here spinning our thoughts, but I think the more practical way is to figure out...
[He looks at her. Really looks at her. Looks at her with the same eyes he always had...and note the changes now that it's been colored by the other night.]
...Where we go from here.
[Another beat before he looks away slightly.]
We can either ignore what happened and try to act like we did before. We could accept it and just carry on with just some...better understanding of each other.
[Physical. Understanding. Apparently.
And then another beat before continues a little quieter.]
...Or we see if anything really did change between us.
[Attraction.
It's at least more clear that both don't want to sever their original relationship, and really even after all this he could deal with either of the first two options. It might take some time, but as long as they can still interact with each other, that's fine enough. They're adults, these things happen, it's not something they need to begrudge or hang up over now that they've talked things out a bit.
But the new issue that seems to be lingering between them is... Do either of them see each other as more. Do they want something to develop between them? And if they do, is it better to quit before they're in too deep and get hurt, or just risk it and go with it?
Thus it's a question of should they end it here or...peek through that door.
A door that, for some reason, he's not completely ignoring right now when normally he would.]
[With the peanut butter finished, Ilsa gives Valo a soft scratch on the head and pushes herself up to her feet, all while listening to Eustace very, very carefully. She may not be looking at him, but her ears are telling, still turned in his direction even as she walks away to the kitchen. She just finds it easier to busy herself with something, finding it too awkward to simply stand there and watch him as he tells her all these things that have been on her mind for just as long, confusing her and making her doubt herself...
...?
But she feels his eyes on her, fixing her with an intense stare that has her lifting her gaze to look at him and meet his. She immediately regrets it and drops them back to the counter where she's set down the spoon for now.
This is certainly not a conversation she ever imagined would happen. Ilsa has gone over it all in her head so many times—her ideal relationship, the perfect wedding, how she wanted it to start and end... She had it all planned out, and then Eustace swooped in and shook it all up. To no fault of his own.
And honestly...? She's not completely turned off by the idea of it. Not when she thinks back to how much fun she did have with him on the dance floor and at the bar... and then everything that happened after.
It's just that there are so, so many complicated feelings, all of them influenced by the drinks that they had... Without them, she thinks she might be surer of what she wanted. She always is, and this is the first time she's taken this long to even begin to figure it out.
Her train of thought is why she takes a while to answer. Not because she doesn't want to work through whatever this now is, if it's anything at all—how presumptuous of her—but because she is almost mad at herself for not having a solution right away.
Why is it that the one thing that she wanted in her life is also the thing that's weighing her down so much?
Ilsa runs her fingers through her hair again.]
I can neither ignore what happened nor accept it and carry on.
[It's the last part of what he said that's grabbed her.]
I think something did change. I knew that it did when I remembered that, even when I didn't know who you were, I was... drawn to you anyway. [She very deliberately avoids "attracted".] It wasn't like that with anyone else and I think there was a reason for that.
[He doesn't mind how long it takes for Ilsa to answer. It's a heavy topic he knows... And maybe it could have been pushed for later, but they were already "pushing things for later" and who knows how long it would be? He's a patient man, but he's also quick to try and figure things out so it doesn't hang over him. Whether that's good or not, time will tell.
And he gives Ilsa all the time in the world, after their eyes meet. He can see the same thoughts, the same questions and uncertainty in her eyes, and he knows Ilsa will need the same time and deliberation he needs. So he will kneel down to give Valo attention after neglecting him for a bit, scratching him behind the ears and letting the dog lean against him. Even Valo is looking at him with concern, nudging him with his nose. As if feeling some support, he quietly smiles.
But even so, like her his ears are trained on her, and when he feels that shift that she's about to speak he looks up a bit to listen.
...And find once again they are of similar mind. It's enough to make a small laugh escape him.]
...It's funny. I remember how we used to be incompatible when we trained together. But now... It almost feels as if you're the one I feel most compatible with.
[There a soft if wane smile as he looks at her before he stands.]
I feel similarly. While I am prepared to take this however you prefer, I can't deny that something has changed.
...But not for the worst. I don't think I would be standing here if it did. That's as far as I've gotten, though.
[A week is already much, much later than she would have liked. Ilsa doesn't like leaving loose ends, and that was certainly the loosest end that she's ever had to deal with, and for so long, too. Better that they get it out now than let it fester for longer, and for things to inevitably get worse and even more awkward whenever they did talk again.
His laugh surprises her a bit, small as it is... It's a lot for Eustace, or so she feels at a time like this, so she blinks at him for the several seconds following it.
And then still when he voices his opinions on the matter.
"Prepared to take it however she prefers"? Why her, though? What does Eustace want that isn't influenced by alcohol or her own decisions, good or bad? Does that mean... that he does want something? That he would be okay with it?
And does her humouring the idea silently in her head mean that it's what she wants, too?
... No, she has no idea and that's the problem.
Finally, Ilsa turns fully to face him, and she's just going to be as honest as she can be right now.]
I don't know.
[She really, really doesn't, and her slightly pained expression says as much.]
You and I really had a good thing going on, didn't we? Before all of this.
[It's her turn to chuckle a little.]
I'd rather not ruin that if we can help it, but... [Her eyes skirt away suddenly, and she reins in the words that she meant to say for something else.] ... I wonder if it might be better to see.
[Although he had been prepared for any and all possibilities, including the potential of further development, he had been more prepared for things ending where they are. Thus his eyes widen a bit at her actual answer, his heart strangely racing for a moment before it quiets.
...
Should he take that as a sign?
However, he understands her uncertainty.]
Then...
[The word hangs in the air as he once again considers his words.]
...How about this. It's clear we're still uncertain about things, but we are in agreement that we do not share any negative feelings towards each other. And if we think about it, we've only known each other through work. We've never really spent any time together outside of it.
So let's just...be around each other and see how we feel in a more...casual relationship first.
[...
This totally sounds like he's suggesting they date but with the dating—]
That word hangs so heavy in the air over Ilsa's head that she may look doubtful at first with how her brow furrows. She knows that it isn't what he means by "casual relationship", but her mind can't help but wander past that very blurred line that's drawn between something casual and something more serious between them. Ilsa has been searching for one for so long, and she still wants one, but...
Is it really going to be with Eustace?
There's no denying that even as colleagues or friends, there is chemistry. And there is certainly no denying that the night of the masquerade had been electric. There was a reason that Ilsa was so drawn to him, and even if he wasn't objectively handsome, it was his personality that won out in the end.
...
How long she remains lost in thought... She hopes it isn't long, but she tries to snap herself out of it before they get too far.]
Alright.
[And her answer comes all too swiftly. Perhaps a little too swift because she is looking for some clarification...
Though it's a bit more tentative now because she isn't sure exactly what she wants to hear from him.]
What do you mean by 'casual relationship'? We should try to be on the same page if we are going to pursue anything. [... Wait.] Not that I am presuming that we are.
[... Are they? The way she looks at him seems to imply that question.]
[There's a blank look of surprise at her words before he half covers his mouth in thought.]
Pursue...
[Another small stretch of silence before he finally answers slowly.]
Maybe.
[If he had to be honest with himself, at least in this moment he can see no fault in Ilsa as a prospective partner. The real problem is himself...]
But to your question I just meant something similar to friendship.
[Whatever that might entail. He's such a private person that while he's been with the group and others, he doesn't really "hang out" or spend much personal time with anyone. So really he's just thinking of the status quo with just a slightly more level of being social.
And he sure did just basically gloss over that first part to answer the original question.]
[There's so much that's still left to be said between them, but there's no hiding the look that Ilsa shoots him when he skillfully dodges an explanation. She had expected a friendship, yes—that part isn't surprising at all, but...]
What do you mean 'maybe'?
[She doesn't like being on the fence about things, and they both already are tiptoeing the line that she doesn't want to blur it further.
Heavens, her heart is so confused.]
I understand that we said we would wait and see, but... [Her brows arch up high.] Do you want to pursue something?
[Hrm he had a feeling she would ask so he awkwardly runs a hand through his hair.]
I don't want to say anything for certain because I don't want to make judgments when I'm still not clear about everything.
However, no matter how many times I think it over...
[...]
I'm not against it.
[Another small pause as his voice quiets a little.]
However, if I want it... That I don't know. I never really sought out any kind of personal relationship before, let alone romantic.
[Why would he when he was on a path of revenge, one where despite his skills and confidence be could die? There were times where he imagined that if he did have to die to take down what had killed his family, he would.
An impression that his life only mattered to himself and no one would care.
Of course that's all changed, but that was still only recent and it still shaped him to how he is today.]
That's why I can only give you an ambiguous answer right now.
[Still... If he did, Ilsa isn't a bad choice, but—that's just it. Is he looking at her like a "choice," a potential option as a mate and that's it? Or does or will he have genuine feelings for her that is beyond the current level? He feels it would be disrespectful to her if it were the former, so he doesn't want to say anything more until he can figure himself out.]
[A sense of understanding colours Ilsa's expression and it softens. While she had always been pursuing a romantic relationship, though not necessarily with him, now that the possibility is there, she doesn't know what she wants at the moment either, and just like him, it will take some time to figure out.
Not just whether it is what she really wants, especially here in this world so far removed from their own, but if the things she is feeling right now as she looks at him are real, or just the aftermath of the masquerade and the cocktails.]
I understand.
[She won't push the issue further.]
However. If we are to do anything, regardless of what sort of relationship it is, I think it would be better that we lay out some ground rules.
[Ilsa clears her throat, realizing how drastic this may sound, and just in case he isn't sure about this—]
[Fortunately, Eustace understands and immediately nods.]
Agreed. And we should make contingencies in case something similar happens again.
[His expression darkens at the thought, but... If it happened once who's to say it won't again? Especially since he's already heard from more than one person that such "pranks" are common.]
You can go first.
[In the meantime, Valo is looking between them. It seems things have softened, but there's still some tension... And now Eustace has his business tone, one that Valo has come to recognize. So there's just a grumbled whine before he plops down with a huff. Maaaan are they really going to just stand there and keep talking about this?
Seeing and hearing this, Eustace looks down in some surprise... And chagrin.]
[He's about to agree when he sees Valo's ears perk up and sitting up, tail wagging a bit. A small laugh escapes him as he reaches down to ruffle his ears.]
Sure. Could use it, too.
[A small change of pace to help clear the air.
So he'll move out of the way heading towards the door with Valo quick to follow right alongside, but while also looking back at Ilsa as if to make sure she's following.]
[She would much prefer it to the stuffy inside of the cottage. The air in here feels abuzz with tension, so perhaps a change of pace and a change in atmosphere will help all of them ease their minds and running thoughts a little.
Ilsa leans down to give Valo a scratch behind his ears following Eustace, and when he gives a small but hearty boof, Ilsa finally laugh a little more freely, that single happy noise doing wonders to take some of that weight off her chest.]
Animals have a funny way of lifting people's spirits, don't they?
[She leads the way to the door and swings it open, letting Eustace and Valo leave first.]
Just a quick round or two around the block will help.
[A small hum of agreement as he briefly smiles softly at Valo before he hooks up the leash and follows after Ilsa, waiting until she's closed up to start heading towards the main street.]
Already, as the fresh air fills her lungs, she feels better. Not quite one hundred percent again, the tension is still there in her shoulders as she carries herself out the door and to the street, but it's significantly less than when she saw him standing just down the road from here not long ago. Even Valo seems happier.
She almost doesn't want to bring up the things they're supposed to talk about lest she ruin the mood, but she's going to have to...
Lifting a hand to her lips, Ilsa clears her throat.]
no subject
...Ah.
A quick glance at Valo—]
Sure.
[—and the dog is eagerly awaiting the tasty treat. But also waiting politely and patiently... Even if his tail and the bright eyes give it all away.
And he's watching the two of them while listening... But it's not until she voices the last part that he looks up sharply.]
Wanted to stay?
[...
....
Ilsa, please clarify because given the context that could mean a lot of different things.]
no subject
She didn't want to have to explain, but... it makes sense. Given the circumstances surrounding the whole thing, given what happened before and how she felt after, she can't blame him for feeling a little confused, either.]
Mm.
[She nods, and a warm smile passes over her expression, ghosting it before it vanishes, when Valo tries to grab the spoon before going back to licking away the peanut butter as if this were his first meal ever.
But a flush begins to creep up into her cheeks when she recalls the bits that she remembers so clearly.]
You took good care of me while I was... [Clearing her throat.] Down for the count. ... I didn't want us to spend the night alone and I thought that we would take care of each other.
no subject
[A small awkward clearing of the throat. He really didn't think she meant anything like... A continuation of that night, but hearing this still somehow tickles him in a way he can't explain or understand. So he just averts his gaze as he tries to find his own words.]
I did... Wonder if I should have stayed to make sure you were all right... But it felt like you wanted me to leave.
I guess I misunderstood.
no subject
You did. I think I went to sleep feeling a little upset that night.
[A little is an understatement. Although she did pass out hard when she finally did, it had taken her a while to really fall asleep. Her mind kept going through the events of the night over and over, all the way up until she watched him leave, and it was the last part of it that had really stung. More than anything else that they had said or done.]
Though, I suppose I misunderstood as well. I went to sleep under the impression that you wanted to leave. Wanted nothing to do with me.
no subject
[—That came out quicker than he realized so it takes him a moment before he continues.]
...It's true I did want to leave, but only under the assumption that you were uncomfortable around me. And I was also feeling a bit confused as well, so I needed some time.
But I never thought that I didn't want you.
[...
WAIT.]
—Want anything to do with you, I mean.
[Primals help him he didn't mean to misspeak like that.]
no subject
[Ilsa almost drops the spoon out of her hands, much to Valo's dismay, before he corrects himself, and even then... why does she feel that twinge of disappointment in her chest? It's not like she wants anything—at least, she doesn't think so, but she does wonder how much of it really was the drinks, and how much of it was them actually wanting something?
She shakes the feeling off. No sense in letting her mind spiral again now. She's just glad that they at least managed to clear that up without any trouble.
And, trying to lighten the mood a little, she does let herself grin.]
Oh? So you don't want me then?
[She might regret this in a few seconds...]
no subject
Ilsa, please.
[...There's a slight flush, though, a flash of heat that he tries to wipe away with his hand as he runs it over his face.
But the question won't leave him. He's neither denying nor confirming, because... He still doesn't know. Still doesn't know what to make of what happened that night. His thoughts, feelings. Even now he's not sure if his views are being colored. Ilsa has always been an objectively pretty, attractive woman. An idiot would be blind to that much. The thing is, he just never thought or felt anything beyond that.
Now, however... Now that he's been made of aware of everything, seen more than he should have...
....]
You?
[In the end, he ends up turning the question back on her...though he's not really hoping or seeking a real answer. It's more to to see if she's also having the same issues.]
no subject
"You?"
He turns it around on her so effortlessly that she doesn't see it coming at all. Now it's Ilsa's turn to stiffen, the flush in her cheeks only darkening as she tears her eyes away from Eustace to look at Valo, who is now blinking at the two of them, confused, as he licks away the peanut butter on his face.
Ilsa doesn't have an answer for him. Not even a response of any kind right away. She spent so long thinking about that exact question only to come up short, and with more questions for herself than answers.
Though, maybe...
...
Maybe it's time to work through them with the only other person in this or any world that can help find those answers, and perhaps knows what she's feeling.]
I can't say I know how much to blame the drinks versus what I was thinking myself.
no subject
Same here.
[...And he's still uncomfortable about it, for many reasons.]
It's obvious we can't take all of what happened to seriously since we don't know what was genuine and what was under the influence. We could stay here spinning our thoughts, but I think the more practical way is to figure out...
[He looks at her. Really looks at her. Looks at her with the same eyes he always had...and note the changes now that it's been colored by the other night.]
...Where we go from here.
[Another beat before he looks away slightly.]
We can either ignore what happened and try to act like we did before. We could accept it and just carry on with just some...better understanding of each other.
[Physical. Understanding. Apparently.
And then another beat before continues a little quieter.]
...Or we see if anything really did change between us.
[Attraction.
It's at least more clear that both don't want to sever their original relationship, and really even after all this he could deal with either of the first two options. It might take some time, but as long as they can still interact with each other, that's fine enough. They're adults, these things happen, it's not something they need to begrudge or hang up over now that they've talked things out a bit.
But the new issue that seems to be lingering between them is... Do either of them see each other as more. Do they want something to develop between them? And if they do, is it better to quit before they're in too deep and get hurt, or just risk it and go with it?
Thus it's a question of should they end it here or...peek through that door.
A door that, for some reason, he's not completely ignoring right now when normally he would.]
no subject
...?
But she feels his eyes on her, fixing her with an intense stare that has her lifting her gaze to look at him and meet his. She immediately regrets it and drops them back to the counter where she's set down the spoon for now.
This is certainly not a conversation she ever imagined would happen. Ilsa has gone over it all in her head so many times—her ideal relationship, the perfect wedding, how she wanted it to start and end... She had it all planned out, and then Eustace swooped in and shook it all up. To no fault of his own.
And honestly...? She's not completely turned off by the idea of it. Not when she thinks back to how much fun she did have with him on the dance floor and at the bar... and then everything that happened after.
It's just that there are so, so many complicated feelings, all of them influenced by the drinks that they had... Without them, she thinks she might be surer of what she wanted. She always is, and this is the first time she's taken this long to even begin to figure it out.
Her train of thought is why she takes a while to answer. Not because she doesn't want to work through whatever this now is, if it's anything at all—how presumptuous of her—but because she is almost mad at herself for not having a solution right away.
Why is it that the one thing that she wanted in her life is also the thing that's weighing her down so much?
Ilsa runs her fingers through her hair again.]
I can neither ignore what happened nor accept it and carry on.
[It's the last part of what he said that's grabbed her.]
I think something did change. I knew that it did when I remembered that, even when I didn't know who you were, I was... drawn to you anyway. [She very deliberately avoids "attracted".] It wasn't like that with anyone else and I think there was a reason for that.
no subject
And he gives Ilsa all the time in the world, after their eyes meet. He can see the same thoughts, the same questions and uncertainty in her eyes, and he knows Ilsa will need the same time and deliberation he needs. So he will kneel down to give Valo attention after neglecting him for a bit, scratching him behind the ears and letting the dog lean against him. Even Valo is looking at him with concern, nudging him with his nose. As if feeling some support, he quietly smiles.
But even so, like her his ears are trained on her, and when he feels that shift that she's about to speak he looks up a bit to listen.
...And find once again they are of similar mind. It's enough to make a small laugh escape him.]
...It's funny. I remember how we used to be incompatible when we trained together. But now... It almost feels as if you're the one I feel most compatible with.
[There a soft if wane smile as he looks at her before he stands.]
I feel similarly. While I am prepared to take this however you prefer, I can't deny that something has changed.
...But not for the worst. I don't think I would be standing here if it did. That's as far as I've gotten, though.
[A small pause.]
...What would you want to do?
no subject
His laugh surprises her a bit, small as it is... It's a lot for Eustace, or so she feels at a time like this, so she blinks at him for the several seconds following it.
And then still when he voices his opinions on the matter.
"Prepared to take it however she prefers"? Why her, though? What does Eustace want that isn't influenced by alcohol or her own decisions, good or bad? Does that mean... that he does want something? That he would be okay with it?
And does her humouring the idea silently in her head mean that it's what she wants, too?
... No, she has no idea and that's the problem.
Finally, Ilsa turns fully to face him, and she's just going to be as honest as she can be right now.]
I don't know.
[She really, really doesn't, and her slightly pained expression says as much.]
You and I really had a good thing going on, didn't we? Before all of this.
[It's her turn to chuckle a little.]
I'd rather not ruin that if we can help it, but... [Her eyes skirt away suddenly, and she reins in the words that she meant to say for something else.] ... I wonder if it might be better to see.
no subject
...
Should he take that as a sign?
However, he understands her uncertainty.]
Then...
[The word hangs in the air as he once again considers his words.]
...How about this. It's clear we're still uncertain about things, but we are in agreement that we do not share any negative feelings towards each other. And if we think about it, we've only known each other through work. We've never really spent any time together outside of it.
So let's just...be around each other and see how we feel in a more...casual relationship first.
[...
This totally sounds like he's suggesting they date but with the dating—]
no subject
That word hangs so heavy in the air over Ilsa's head that she may look doubtful at first with how her brow furrows. She knows that it isn't what he means by "casual relationship", but her mind can't help but wander past that very blurred line that's drawn between something casual and something more serious between them. Ilsa has been searching for one for so long, and she still wants one, but...
Is it really going to be with Eustace?
There's no denying that even as colleagues or friends, there is chemistry. And there is certainly no denying that the night of the masquerade had been electric. There was a reason that Ilsa was so drawn to him, and even if he wasn't objectively handsome, it was his personality that won out in the end.
...
How long she remains lost in thought... She hopes it isn't long, but she tries to snap herself out of it before they get too far.]
Alright.
[And her answer comes all too swiftly. Perhaps a little too swift because she is looking for some clarification...
Though it's a bit more tentative now because she isn't sure exactly what she wants to hear from him.]
What do you mean by 'casual relationship'? We should try to be on the same page if we are going to pursue anything. [... Wait.] Not that I am presuming that we are.
[... Are they? The way she looks at him seems to imply that question.]
no subject
Pursue...
[Another small stretch of silence before he finally answers slowly.]
Maybe.
[If he had to be honest with himself, at least in this moment he can see no fault in Ilsa as a prospective partner. The real problem is himself...]
But to your question I just meant something similar to friendship.
[Whatever that might entail. He's such a private person that while he's been with the group and others, he doesn't really "hang out" or spend much personal time with anyone. So really he's just thinking of the status quo with just a slightly more level of being social.
And he sure did just basically gloss over that first part to answer the original question.]
no subject
What do you mean 'maybe'?
[She doesn't like being on the fence about things, and they both already are tiptoeing the line that she doesn't want to blur it further.
Heavens, her heart is so confused.]
I understand that we said we would wait and see, but... [Her brows arch up high.] Do you want to pursue something?
no subject
[Hrm he had a feeling she would ask so he awkwardly runs a hand through his hair.]
I don't want to say anything for certain because I don't want to make judgments when I'm still not clear about everything.
However, no matter how many times I think it over...
[...]
I'm not against it.
[Another small pause as his voice quiets a little.]
However, if I want it... That I don't know. I never really sought out any kind of personal relationship before, let alone romantic.
[Why would he when he was on a path of revenge, one where despite his skills and confidence be could die? There were times where he imagined that if he did have to die to take down what had killed his family, he would.
An impression that his life only mattered to himself and no one would care.
Of course that's all changed, but that was still only recent and it still shaped him to how he is today.]
That's why I can only give you an ambiguous answer right now.
[Still... If he did, Ilsa isn't a bad choice, but—that's just it. Is he looking at her like a "choice," a potential option as a mate and that's it? Or does or will he have genuine feelings for her that is beyond the current level? He feels it would be disrespectful to her if it were the former, so he doesn't want to say anything more until he can figure himself out.]
no subject
Not just whether it is what she really wants, especially here in this world so far removed from their own, but if the things she is feeling right now as she looks at him are real, or just the aftermath of the masquerade and the cocktails.]
I understand.
[She won't push the issue further.]
However. If we are to do anything, regardless of what sort of relationship it is, I think it would be better that we lay out some ground rules.
[Ilsa clears her throat, realizing how drastic this may sound, and just in case he isn't sure about this—]
So that there are no further misunderstandings.
no subject
Agreed. And we should make contingencies in case something similar happens again.
[His expression darkens at the thought, but... If it happened once who's to say it won't again? Especially since he's already heard from more than one person that such "pranks" are common.]
You can go first.
[In the meantime, Valo is looking between them. It seems things have softened, but there's still some tension... And now Eustace has his business tone, one that Valo has come to recognize. So there's just a grumbled whine before he plops down with a huff. Maaaan are they really going to just stand there and keep talking about this?
Seeing and hearing this, Eustace looks down in some surprise... And chagrin.]
...Sorry, I guess Valo is bored.
[Another grumble from the otherwise quiet dog.]
no subject
And she's going to consider her own "stipulations"—lord, this sounds so ridiculous—before Valo's whine grabs her attention instead.]
Would he like to go for a walk?
[With a sheepish smile, she nods to the door.]
I could use some fresh air, too.
no subject
Sure. Could use it, too.
[A small change of pace to help clear the air.
So he'll move out of the way heading towards the door with Valo quick to follow right alongside, but while also looking back at Ilsa as if to make sure she's following.]
no subject
Ilsa leans down to give Valo a scratch behind his ears following Eustace, and when he gives a small but hearty boof, Ilsa finally laugh a little more freely, that single happy noise doing wonders to take some of that weight off her chest.]
Animals have a funny way of lifting people's spirits, don't they?
[She leads the way to the door and swings it open, letting Eustace and Valo leave first.]
Just a quick round or two around the block will help.
no subject
[A small hum of agreement as he briefly smiles softly at Valo before he hooks up the leash and follows after Ilsa, waiting until she's closed up to start heading towards the main street.]
no subject
[A smile down at Valo.
Already, as the fresh air fills her lungs, she feels better. Not quite one hundred percent again, the tension is still there in her shoulders as she carries herself out the door and to the street, but it's significantly less than when she saw him standing just down the road from here not long ago. Even Valo seems happier.
She almost doesn't want to bring up the things they're supposed to talk about lest she ruin the mood, but she's going to have to...
Lifting a hand to her lips, Ilsa clears her throat.]
So, about those ground rules...
no subject
What do you have in mind?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
TIMESKIP TO CRAZY
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
TIMESKIP POST NHIE (forgot to label lmao)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/6
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
done destroying this man's dignity forever
ARE YOU SURE...
NAH
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...