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[He has to squint because WOW THOSE LETTERS ARE KIND OF BLURRY UUHH...]

—Oh, that?

[And exaggerated wave of his hand.]

It was bait. Bait.

[He's still a bit flushed as he leans in closer to whisper drunkenly (and not so quietly as he thinks).]

I only meant sleeping on the same room. Not sex. But everyone was talking about their sex lives so I said this to trap 'em.

[A strangely smug grin as his voice grows louder as he means to talk normally but again really isn't.]

Besides we don't count' cause we know each other and we only did—

[She might want to shut his mouth.]

[Never mind that he's so close, he's hardly whispering in her ear, and oh my god his breath—

Ilsa shoves him away by his cheek, and immediately regrets it because now he's practically yelling about her and them, so she chases after to clap a hand right over his mouth, eyes darting around to make sure that no one heard him. She didn't really mean it when she said she would kill him if he told anyone, but now she's starting to rethink that—]

Don't.

[Yeah, he definitely drank too much. Baiting people to talk about their sex lives? The Eustace that she knows is long, long gone now. He wouldn't give two damns about others or babbling about theirs... NOT THAT THEY HAVE ONE, but it's the principle of the matter!!!

There's only one thing that she can do at this point. A search mission has now turned into an extraction.]

I'm taking you home.

[He's trying to listen, really. But her hand... On his mouth... Her scent... Taste. Despite having been flustered earlier, instinct takes over and without thinking whatsoever, his tongue flicks out to lick her palm.]

[Why is there something warm and soft and wet pressing against her pa—]

WHA-UGH!?

[Her shout and her scrambling away turns a few more heads their way, and she stares down at her hand after snapping it back. Her face is flushed, her eyes wide with bewilderment, and her mouth hanging open...

Did he... really just...?]

What was that for?!

[Her voice may have gone up several levels.]

Hmm...

Just wanted to?

[Kind of wants to do it again...]

[Ilsa shakes and wrings her hand as if she means to shake his cooties away...]

Well, don't.

[She's still... in shock from what just happened, her mind spinning, but she pauses to look around the bar.]

Have you settled your tab?

[She's not going to continue this here...]

Valo is waiting for you outside.

Ah, it's free because it was all part of the game.

You sure you don't want to try it? It's fun! Valo could come in, too!

[Just drag him out now—]

[...

Ugh. No wonder he reeks of alcohol... but now it begs the question of how many of these games he actually played... and admitted to. Ilsa isn't ignorant to the nature of them, or how stupid they are...

She just gives him A Look when he mentions Valo.]

I will not participate in these grown-up childish games. And your dog will not be either.

[VALO WOULD BE DISAPPOINTED IN YOU IF HE HEARD THAT...

And yes. She's just going to take him by the arm and forcibly drag him out. Be grateful it wasn't by the ear--]

Come. We're leaving.

Huh??

[AND STUMBLING WHILE BEING DRAGGED.]

But I haven't said bye—

[She's not going to stop until they're outside.]

It's better that you don't. You can thank me later.

[And once they're through the door, Valo will immediately walk up to Eustace and sniff him, his tail waggling happily and hopefully, only for him to recoil with a low whuff when he gets a whiff of the alcohol.]

[There's going to be an extreme emotional whiplash right about now.

First it starts with Eustace fretting a little for not saying goodbye to his new!! Friends(???)!!!]

Edited 2023-05-10 22:18 (UTC)

[Then he notices the strong grip Ilsa has on his arm and suddenly his heart flutters and his face flushes because oh what a strong grip and what would it be like if—]

[But that questionable thought is interrupted when he sees Valo and his eyes brighten, a wide smile forming.]

Valo! It's Daddy!!!!

[But all that excitement and adoration is instantly shattered when Valo whines and backs away from him instead.]

Nooooo!!! VAAALLOOO!!!

[And now he falls forward as if to go on his hands and knees.... WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES. HEART IS BROKEN.]

MY BABY HATES ME!!

[This is a nightmare for everyone.

Also he may be feeling a little nauseous right now—]

Hurk—

[Just when Ilsa thought she couldn't cringe any harder, watching this man's emotions spiral out of his control is difficult to watch. Even Valo looks confused as Eustace falls to his hands and knees, while she stands there and just... stares... dryly... blankly... as her ears pin all the way down and back.

And Ilsa looks like her own soul has left her body.

...

.....

And she's just going to turn around on her heel.]

Come, Valo. He'll catch up when he's ready.

[Just some gross sobbing as he remains in the ground.]

Vaaallllloooooo!!!

[And now Valo is torn because CLEARLY SOMETHING IS WRONG but he's not sure if leaving Eustace there is really such a good idea... And it sounds like he may be attracting attention.

With some laughter and sniggering somewhere not too far away.]

[Dear lord... He is so far gone.

Ilsa is already starting to walk away... slowly... hoping that Eustace will find it within to at least stop his sobbing and pick himself up off the ground. Does she really have to do it for him!?

...

Okay, she feels a little guilty as he continues to sob, and with a groan, she's about to turn around when she hears some snickering from around the corner. Who the hell is giggling!? This is no laughing matter!!!]

Hm? If you've got something to say, then come out and say it.

[Like hell they'll let themselves be known. Before they run off, she'll hear the words, "We really got him good" and "That's what he gets" and something about enchantments and revenge for scaring their friend. Should Ilsa try to run after them, they'll be long gone, and Valo is slowly inching towards Eustace with a sad whine...

Only to yelp when Eustace reaches out to grab him and hug him close to his chest.]

Vaaalllooo!!!! Daddy is sooorrrrrryyy!!!!!!

[MAMA ILSA HELP PLEASE.]

[Ilsa is far too busy trying to eavesdrop on the fae around the corner, her ears pricked forward and at attention to the whispering and giggling—something something enchantments something revenge—and it isn't until Eustace cries out again that she whirls around.

PRIMALS, HE'S GOING TO CHOKE HIS POOR DOG—

She rushes forward to try and pry Valo out of his arms.

Though, there is a bit of concern that weaves its way into her expression, furrowing her brow.

She was right. This is the work of the fae... As if she needed another reason to dislike them, and now that they've done this to Eustace—a man that she respects and even admires—she's going to have a few choice words for them when all of this is over.

For now, she's going to worry about him.

If he's going to keep blubbering on the ground rather than follow her, then she's going to have to put on her best commanding voice.]

On your feet!

Hyup—

[He's still a mess, especially after Valo is freed from his grasp, but he'll stumble to his feet.

And almost fall over because he's terribly drunk right now. It would honestly be a great mercy if he doesn't remember any of this, but who knows......]

[Before he can topple over, Ilsa will reach an arm around him and duck under his so that he can use her for support.

He better remember this later so that it doesn't happen again, and so that he can thank her for cleaning up after his giant mess!]

On second thought, you're going to come back and stay at my house until this wears off.

[And before he can get any ideas—]

But don't get any ideas.

Huh? What?

[Just staring at her blankly.]

Nothing.

[If he didn't catch on or if it didn't spark any strange thoughts in his head, then good. She's going to keep it that way.

And she's going to pause, look down at Valo to make sure he's coming along, and then back at Eustace.]

... You can walk, right?

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1/6

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done destroying this man's dignity forever

ARE YOU SURE...

NAH

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