But this is something that's been stewing in Ilsa's head as well as she's tried to come up with an answer to it since they decided that they would continue to see where this would take them, but she hasn't found it yet. Though, now she wishes she had.]
Neither do I.
[For once, the two of them are flying by the seat of their pants, completely unprepared and inexperienced. It's a new feeling...]
Should we start by deciding... what exactly our relationship is now?
An interesting choice of words—certainly not what she was expecting, but...]
That's acceptable.
[Why are they still talking like this is a contract, or a mission debriefing? Even Valo looks around at them, confused at the stiffness that still plagues their conversation.
Which is a good segue into her next point, and she's just going to get even more tense.]
And for exclusivity? [Her cheeks are starting to turn red again when she briefly thinks back to the masquerade... and how it felt when she'd seen him just as disheveled as she was, and how... strangely protective she became of that.] I think it might be a better test if we both agree to not pursue other people.
[The chances of him being interested in anyone else is pretty low. Especially since... His feelings are similar. That night he had been protective of her mostly for her sake, knowing she would be embarrassed to be seen by strangers. But there had also been a seed of possessiveness, a strange feeling of wanting to monopolize her... Which was, in retrospect, both a little horrifying and disrespectful given their current state of relationship.
Yet even so...]
However. [A small pause.] I don't want you to feel any kind of obligation because of what happened that night. If you feel that I am lacking in your preferences or interests, do not hesitate to say so.
[Yes, it's still early enough to "break" cleanly without much negative feeling or effect to their pre-established relationship. This is especially so since this is in part to try and get a clearer perspective without that influence from before. Of course he may also being hesitant as his own personal feelings on romantic relationships are vague and he doesn't know where to put himself or even what to think of their current situation.
Regardless, it's clear that because of that, he's prioritizing Ilsa's needs over his own.]
Ilsa does cast him a stare at that, but she says nothing of what thoughts come to mind. That she had told him that he was the only person at the masquerade that held her interest for longer than a single conversation. That he was the only man who she had wanted to dance with and spend more time with... Regardless of what they want to call this or their feelings about one another, there's no denying that there's no lack of anything. At least from her end. He had done more than enough to prove that, both emotionally and... physically.
For all the complicated things in her head right now, she's a fairly simple woman at the end of the day.]
And the same applies to you. If you find yourself wanting to pursue someone else, or that this isn't working, then we can end this with no hard feelings.
[Because this is all just a tentative thing. A test... is what they are going to tell themselves.]
[Another nod... Though he doubts it. He knows Ilsa can be stubborn and a bit of a spitfire, but unlike in the past it does bother him—especially when he knows her other sides as well. Really, objectively, although she's not without faults, she is quite compatible...]
[Once again, Ilsa feels Valo's withering stare on the both of them, but she ignores the feeling that it twists into her stomach.
There's a brief silence while she thinks over what else they need to discuss... but all that's really left is something that she's been actively avoiding bringing up. It would have to be talked about eventually, but the thought of actually having to say it out loud is...
Tch.]
I guess the last thing is the physical aspect of our relationship.
[Eustace, please!!! He's just making this harder for her, and her cheeks are only flushing further...! Hugging isn't all she meant, it was just an example!!!]
Sure. If we ever have the impulse to hug each other, then you should know that it's fine by me.
[Her voice is curt, and she's eager to move on, clearing her throat. Again.]
[Ilsa heaves out a giant breath, as if another weight has just been lifted from her shoulders, and some of that tension is dispelled. Though, not all of it... What in the world did he think he meant when she mentioned hugging!?!?!?
Not that she's going to ask—]
Well, if that's everything, then I think we've come to a good enough agreement. Unless you have anything else that you would like to add.
It's such a strange thing. Talking about a mundane social activity like this... trying to figure out what to "call it" if they ever were to. It's something she would have considered doing before and would have in a heartbeat if Eustace ever invited her, but the fact that now, they have to view it as anything is so jarring.
But he's right.]
As going out for lunch or coffee. Nothing more, nothing less.
[Just two friends who are enjoying each other's company.]
If something else comes from it, then we should let it happen naturally.
[Nope not at all and yet it seems so natural for them. Then again, thekr situation more or less calls for it. Otherwise...everything they discussed could have possibly happened naturally without them knowing.]
Should we put a deadline to reassess where we stand?
[Of course, Ilsa thinks there is nothing strange about it, so when Eustace asks for a deadline, she takes his question very, very seriously and gives it some thought.]
Hm. How about we see where we're at in a month and reassess then? That should be plenty of time for both of us to determine how we feel.
[Meanwhile, Valo is staring at the two of them because seriously???]
When we return we can put it in writing so we can remember for later.
[IT'S LIKE SOME CONTRACT—]
But... I will say I'm glad we were able to discuss this. I was a little concerned.
[Or rather that they are able to talk at all. His biggest fear was that he would have treat her with greater distance, like a stranger. He would have understood, but he it would have been... Disappointing.]
[There's a beat of silence—one that's a little longer this time—as he says that, and Ilsa slips her hands into her pockets and keeps her eyes forward as she hums in acknowledgement. Their footsteps and Valo's little whines fill that silence while she thinks back on everything for a moment before she finally breaks it with a sigh.]
I was, too. I value what we have, and I spent that week worrying that we would lose it. In a situation like ours, having something familiar is helpful. Hah. Maybe that's why I was drawn to you at the masquerade.
[It's okay, Valo, mom and dad are just figuring things out.]
...Mm.
[A light quirk of a smile.]
Likewise I was more tolerant... And it was a bit more enjoyable compared to others.
[Another small pause, another few steps.]
Regardless of whatever happens, I do want you to know that I care about you, Ilsa. I said before I trust and respect you, and that will remain true whether we remain like this or not.
[He briefly remembers how he had those spikes of concern when their headquarters had been attacked and he lost contact with her, and how close Dex had been before he stopped the moondweller from reaching her. At the time he just thought of it as the usual concerns for a colleague, but looking back now... He wonders.]
[Her smile comes a little easier this time around as more of that tension dissipates.]
I feel the same.
[Regardless of where they go from here, Ilsa doesn't see that changing any time soon. Were it anyone else who she had the same run-in with at the masquerade, she doesn't think it would go over quite as well. Honestly, it wouldn't go over at all—if she'd ever found out who it was after the fact, he would have been a dead man, but with Eustace... somehow, it's different.
The vast amount of respect that she similarly holds for him reminds her that he would never cross a line with her, and that whatever it means to him—or her, for that matter—he wouldn't ever go so far as to throw it away. Clearly it meant something to the both of them...]
You are my oldest friend and closest colleague. I don't intend for that to change just because Society doesn't exist here. I hope you know that.
[A pause, and Ilsa clicks her tongue, but her smile doesn't fade. It only shifts to something more teasing.]
However. If you speak of this to anyone, I may have to kill you.
[Uh huh. She's never going to forget that he said that.
With the lighter mood, Ilsa heaves a sigh, letting her chest puff out and then back in as she takes in a breath of the fresh air that somehow seems fresher now.]
Nothing comes to mind. I think we covered everything. Should we start heading back?
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But this is something that's been stewing in Ilsa's head as well as she's tried to come up with an answer to it since they decided that they would continue to see where this would take them, but she hasn't found it yet. Though, now she wishes she had.]
Neither do I.
[For once, the two of them are flying by the seat of their pants, completely unprepared and inexperienced. It's a new feeling...]
Should we start by deciding... what exactly our relationship is now?
[If it's anything.......]
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He frowns, thinking it over, but really the only conclusion he can come to is...]
...Not yet dating?
[It's a question, but he's also serious about his answer.]
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An interesting choice of words—certainly not what she was expecting, but...]
That's acceptable.
[Why are they still talking like this is a contract, or a mission debriefing? Even Valo looks around at them, confused at the stiffness that still plagues their conversation.
Which is a good segue into her next point, and she's just going to get even more tense.]
And for exclusivity? [Her cheeks are starting to turn red again when she briefly thinks back to the masquerade... and how it felt when she'd seen him just as disheveled as she was, and how... strangely protective she became of that.] I think it might be a better test if we both agree to not pursue other people.
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...]
I don't mind.
[The chances of him being interested in anyone else is pretty low. Especially since... His feelings are similar. That night he had been protective of her mostly for her sake, knowing she would be embarrassed to be seen by strangers. But there had also been a seed of possessiveness, a strange feeling of wanting to monopolize her... Which was, in retrospect, both a little horrifying and disrespectful given their current state of relationship.
Yet even so...]
However. [A small pause.] I don't want you to feel any kind of obligation because of what happened that night. If you feel that I am lacking in your preferences or interests, do not hesitate to say so.
[Yes, it's still early enough to "break" cleanly without much negative feeling or effect to their pre-established relationship. This is especially so since this is in part to try and get a clearer perspective without that influence from before. Of course he may also being hesitant as his own personal feelings on romantic relationships are vague and he doesn't know where to put himself or even what to think of their current situation.
Regardless, it's clear that because of that, he's prioritizing Ilsa's needs over his own.]
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Ilsa does cast him a stare at that, but she says nothing of what thoughts come to mind. That she had told him that he was the only person at the masquerade that held her interest for longer than a single conversation. That he was the only man who she had wanted to dance with and spend more time with... Regardless of what they want to call this or their feelings about one another, there's no denying that there's no lack of anything. At least from her end. He had done more than enough to prove that, both emotionally and... physically.
For all the complicated things in her head right now, she's a fairly simple woman at the end of the day.]
And the same applies to you. If you find yourself wanting to pursue someone else, or that this isn't working, then we can end this with no hard feelings.
[Because this is all just a tentative thing. A test... is what they are going to tell themselves.]
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That sounds fair. What else?
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There's a brief silence while she thinks over what else they need to discuss... but all that's really left is something that she's been actively avoiding bringing up. It would have to be talked about eventually, but the thought of actually having to say it out loud is...
Tch.]
I guess the last thing is the physical aspect of our relationship.
[Not yet relationship.]
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[Certainly not something he considered as he assumed there wouldn't be any, but...]
Do you mean in case something happens...?
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[In Section 1, Subsection 1.1, Paragraph 2.]
I meant more along the lines of our boundaries. I'm going to assume no holding hands or kissing. Hugging, however, is fine.
[???
Is she hearing herself right now?]
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Ehm.]
When would we hug?
[Is she hearing herself??]
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[The question gets a rise of colour in her cheeks again, and Ilsa snaps her gaze around to Eustace with a flicker of panic.]
If we're going over everything, I want to have our bases covered. Hugging falls under intimate physical contact.
[What did he think she meant!?!?]
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[Just a blank look in response to her flushed one.]
I'm just trying to think of a scenario where this condition is needed.
[OR why it needs to be stated...? He is going to be seriously thinking about this for a moment and the only conclusion he can think of is—]
Is this in case either of us has a sudden desire or impulse to do so?
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Sure. If we ever have the impulse to hug each other, then you should know that it's fine by me.
[Her voice is curt, and she's eager to move on, clearing her throat. Again.]
Are we clear on those terms?
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He shouldn't find it...amusing to see her flustered like this so he just looks back forward.]
It's clear.
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Not that she's going to ask—]
Well, if that's everything, then I think we've come to a good enough agreement. Unless you have anything else that you would like to add.
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[And still with the professional talk, which leaves Valo still judging them and huffing.
But something does come to mind.]
However... If we were to spend together, such as having lunch or coffee... [A small pause.] How should we view it?
[Casual get-togethers? Or... Something with potential to further their relationship?]
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It's such a strange thing. Talking about a mundane social activity like this... trying to figure out what to "call it" if they ever were to. It's something she would have considered doing before and would have in a heartbeat if Eustace ever invited her, but the fact that now, they have to view it as anything is so jarring.
But he's right.]
As going out for lunch or coffee. Nothing more, nothing less.
[Just two friends who are enjoying each other's company.]
If something else comes from it, then we should let it happen naturally.
[Nothing about this conversation is natural!!!]
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Should we put a deadline to reassess where we stand?
[And it just continues.]
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Hm. How about we see where we're at in a month and reassess then? That should be plenty of time for both of us to determine how we feel.
[Meanwhile, Valo is staring at the two of them because seriously???]
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When we return we can put it in writing so we can remember for later.
[IT'S LIKE SOME CONTRACT—]
But... I will say I'm glad we were able to discuss this. I was a little concerned.
[Or rather that they are able to talk at all. His biggest fear was that he would have treat her with greater distance, like a stranger. He would have understood, but he it would have been... Disappointing.]
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I was, too. I value what we have, and I spent that week worrying that we would lose it. In a situation like ours, having something familiar is helpful. Hah. Maybe that's why I was drawn to you at the masquerade.
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...Mm.
[A light quirk of a smile.]
Likewise I was more tolerant... And it was a bit more enjoyable compared to others.
[Another small pause, another few steps.]
Regardless of whatever happens, I do want you to know that I care about you, Ilsa. I said before I trust and respect you, and that will remain true whether we remain like this or not.
[He briefly remembers how he had those spikes of concern when their headquarters had been attacked and he lost contact with her, and how close Dex had been before he stopped the moondweller from reaching her. At the time he just thought of it as the usual concerns for a colleague, but looking back now... He wonders.]
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I feel the same.
[Regardless of where they go from here, Ilsa doesn't see that changing any time soon. Were it anyone else who she had the same run-in with at the masquerade, she doesn't think it would go over quite as well. Honestly, it wouldn't go over at all—if she'd ever found out who it was after the fact, he would have been a dead man, but with Eustace... somehow, it's different.
The vast amount of respect that she similarly holds for him reminds her that he would never cross a line with her, and that whatever it means to him—or her, for that matter—he wouldn't ever go so far as to throw it away. Clearly it meant something to the both of them...]
You are my oldest friend and closest colleague. I don't intend for that to change just because Society doesn't exist here. I hope you know that.
[A pause, and Ilsa clicks her tongue, but her smile doesn't fade. It only shifts to something more teasing.]
However. If you speak of this to anyone, I may have to kill you.
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Who would I tell? I won't breathe a word.
[They'll get to revisit this in a few weeks—]
Is there anything else?
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With the lighter mood, Ilsa heaves a sigh, letting her chest puff out and then back in as she takes in a breath of the fresh air that somehow seems fresher now.]
Nothing comes to mind. I think we covered everything. Should we start heading back?
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TIMESKIP TO CRAZY
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TIMESKIP POST NHIE (forgot to label lmao)
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1/6
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done destroying this man's dignity forever
ARE YOU SURE...
NAH
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