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[This is a nightmare for everyone.

Also he may be feeling a little nauseous right now—]

Hurk—

[Just when Ilsa thought she couldn't cringe any harder, watching this man's emotions spiral out of his control is difficult to watch. Even Valo looks confused as Eustace falls to his hands and knees, while she stands there and just... stares... dryly... blankly... as her ears pin all the way down and back.

And Ilsa looks like her own soul has left her body.

...

.....

And she's just going to turn around on her heel.]

Come, Valo. He'll catch up when he's ready.

[Just some gross sobbing as he remains in the ground.]

Vaaallllloooooo!!!

[And now Valo is torn because CLEARLY SOMETHING IS WRONG but he's not sure if leaving Eustace there is really such a good idea... And it sounds like he may be attracting attention.

With some laughter and sniggering somewhere not too far away.]

[Dear lord... He is so far gone.

Ilsa is already starting to walk away... slowly... hoping that Eustace will find it within to at least stop his sobbing and pick himself up off the ground. Does she really have to do it for him!?

...

Okay, she feels a little guilty as he continues to sob, and with a groan, she's about to turn around when she hears some snickering from around the corner. Who the hell is giggling!? This is no laughing matter!!!]

Hm? If you've got something to say, then come out and say it.

[Like hell they'll let themselves be known. Before they run off, she'll hear the words, "We really got him good" and "That's what he gets" and something about enchantments and revenge for scaring their friend. Should Ilsa try to run after them, they'll be long gone, and Valo is slowly inching towards Eustace with a sad whine...

Only to yelp when Eustace reaches out to grab him and hug him close to his chest.]

Vaaalllooo!!!! Daddy is sooorrrrrryyy!!!!!!

[MAMA ILSA HELP PLEASE.]

[Ilsa is far too busy trying to eavesdrop on the fae around the corner, her ears pricked forward and at attention to the whispering and giggling—something something enchantments something revenge—and it isn't until Eustace cries out again that she whirls around.

PRIMALS, HE'S GOING TO CHOKE HIS POOR DOG—

She rushes forward to try and pry Valo out of his arms.

Though, there is a bit of concern that weaves its way into her expression, furrowing her brow.

She was right. This is the work of the fae... As if she needed another reason to dislike them, and now that they've done this to Eustace—a man that she respects and even admires—she's going to have a few choice words for them when all of this is over.

For now, she's going to worry about him.

If he's going to keep blubbering on the ground rather than follow her, then she's going to have to put on her best commanding voice.]

On your feet!

Hyup—

[He's still a mess, especially after Valo is freed from his grasp, but he'll stumble to his feet.

And almost fall over because he's terribly drunk right now. It would honestly be a great mercy if he doesn't remember any of this, but who knows......]

[Before he can topple over, Ilsa will reach an arm around him and duck under his so that he can use her for support.

He better remember this later so that it doesn't happen again, and so that he can thank her for cleaning up after his giant mess!]

On second thought, you're going to come back and stay at my house until this wears off.

[And before he can get any ideas—]

But don't get any ideas.

Huh? What?

[Just staring at her blankly.]

Nothing.

[If he didn't catch on or if it didn't spark any strange thoughts in his head, then good. She's going to keep it that way.

And she's going to pause, look down at Valo to make sure he's coming along, and then back at Eustace.]

... You can walk, right?

Uuuh... I think so.

[Takes one step forward. And then another. And then trips over a loose cobblestone, making him stumble and suddenly grab onto her.]

[Nope. Nope, nope, nope.

Ilsa catches him with a hand to his chest as he grabs onto her before he can fall and take her down with him, and she's going to try and straighten him again.

She can still hear the tittering and giggling of the fae from further away, and she's half tempted to go after them and squash them under her boot right now—]

I don't need to carry you, do I?

No...

[Sounding very, very meek.]

Just your shoulder...

[Her nose crinkles again when she gets a whiff of the alcohol on him... Maybe she should draw him a bath when they get back, too—she doesn't want this smell lingering in her home after he' gone.

On their way, Ilsa picks up the bag of boxes that she had grabbed on her search for him from one of the outdoor tables, and she rustles it to grab his attention.]

Valo and I found these when we were looking for you. I didn't know you liked cream puffs.

[So much that he ordered two dozen of them.]

[Now he's hit the drowsy, clingy stage of drukenhood, leaning close against her. Ah...she smells so sweet...but it's also soothing...

But at her words, he looks up...and there's a spark of light in his eyes.]

Ah... I got those for you.

[She'll allow it... this one time, and only because she's helping him stay upright so that he doesn't trip on a stone.

But as she looks down at the bag, and then back at him, she blinks wide in surprise.]

For me? You thought that I wanted two dozen cream puffs?

[A dry laugh.]

And then you left them behind at the café.

Well I know you like them... And I wanted to give you something as apology... With dinner and flowers....

[He doesn't realize how that sounds especially since the order of everything was the opposite.

But ughh....]

Maybe there is something wrong with me...

[Ahh... Damn it.

Sighing, she clutches the bag a little tighter, guilt wrapping around her heart.]

No, there's nothing wrong with you. Not really. ... Thank you for the cream puffs.

Ugh... Ilsa... I feel strange...

[He's wobbling.]

[It's fine... she's got him... mostly!?]

What do you mean? Is it that stupid fae magic?

[SHE'S GOING TO KILL THEM]

No... It's... —heup!

[Yeah he's definitely still nauseous and will probably puke soon.]

[Ah...

Twenty plus drinks will surely do that to a person, won't it?]

Do you need to stop somewhere?

[Please do not hurl all over your shoes, Eustace... or worse, hers...]

Any...

[Oh primals this is why he never drinks so much—not that he's remembering that right now. Honestly amazing he's managed to still walk, a testament to his strong constitution, but he's still only human. Especially now that all the buzz and good feelings have disappeared and all he's left is feeling like a wretch.

And feeling like he needs to retch—

Bye Ilsa he's suddenly letting go to stumble and dash off to the side of the road. Insert the rainbow censor.]

Eus—!

[She yells it as he stumbles away from her and hurls (rainbows) on the side of the road. She closes her eyes, wincing, while Valo stands aside and whines.

And this is just another reason why Ilsa thinks those games are stupid. Sure, the fae are to blame for part of this with whatever sort of enchantment they put on him, but they didn't make him drink. It was the game... and it's knocked Eustace down to... this...

She's just going to walk up and... gently pat his back while he does so.]

This is why you shouldn't play those games.

[While she won't yell at him, she can't let the scolding go.]

[Sorry just more rainbows. Give him a second. Well, several seconds before he groans.]

Ugh... My head...

[On the plus side it's all on the ground and not on himself???]

done destroying this man's dignity forever

ARE YOU SURE...

NAH

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